I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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