at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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