did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
