I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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