New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
