I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
