i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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