I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
