its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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