im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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