Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
