I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
