Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
