Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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