Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
