getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
