You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
