Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
