my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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