That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
