I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
