Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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