i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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