I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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