The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
