Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
