Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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