Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
should my penis look like a turkey
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
