Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
