he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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