We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
