escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
