last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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