all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
