Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
