so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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