Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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