i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
