If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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