Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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