everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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