i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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