just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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