Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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