This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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