Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
