Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
