So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
