It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
