I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
