the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
