everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
