Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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